|
|
she really is something else
|
|
|
| long december |
[20 Mar 2005|10:52am] |
a long december and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last. i can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leaving, but the days go by so fast.
and it's one more day up in the canyon. and it's one more night in hollywood. if you think that i could be forgiven; i wish you would.
the smell of hospitals in winter, and the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearl. and all at once she looked across a crowded room to see the way that light attaches to a girl.
and it's one more day up in the canyon. and it's one more night in hollywood. if you think you might come to california; i think you should.
|
|
| country roads |
[19 Oct 2004|08:26pm] |
Dear Mom,
I want to write you novels about my trip to Idaho because it was a religious experience. I feel like maybe these "religious experiences" are starting to sound cliche and too collegey... but it was really unlike anything I have ever done. I remember family vacations, and how there's always an agenda and everyone needs to be pleased, and there's always some amount of stress that accompanies the fun. Now I know why you love to travel, because I think this is probably the kind of trip you used to go on all the time. We traveled for thirteen hours on the first day, stopping at EVERY small town on the map. We took a tour of a train depot in Dayton for $3; fell asleep in a big park in Pomeroy; took pictures of chickens in Dixie; walked the streets of Waitsburg like we were in a museum. Everyone was essentially up for anything, and there was no reason to leave or stay anywhere. It was such an obligation-free thing. We all pitched in and got a campsite at this beautiful national park on the Snake--made sandwiches with roasted buns and hotdogs over a campfire and fell asleep in the freezing cold under the stars. There was no moon and no lights--the stars shone brighter than they did in Sun River! There was a shooting star about every minute. We all woke up at the crack of dawn and hiked up this big hill to watch the sun rise over the river. Set out home on a different route through the mountains stopping at a few more small towns along the way. Saw about eight million deer that would just stop in the middle of the road and stare at us--one group of them had white tails, which is apparently a pretty big deal, according to Mac who lives in the Dalles and had never seen one before. Got horribly lost but didn't care--we just turned around and started over again, laughing the entire way and playing twenty questions. We were all so happy the whole time. Kazuto, who's from Japan, and I talked about the difference between American and Asian culture--it was SO COOL to hear how he felt experiencing all of what we were experiencing. I could never go into detail about how wonderful the whole thing was. I want to go back and just start writing about it and not stop for a day. I haven't had a chance to sit down and write everything yet, but I will, I hope.
Anyway, sorry I rambled--I just had to tell the whole story. Which I didn't--I left out a lot of really great little details. Most of our friends are annoyed with us because we can't stop talking about it. I feel completely changed.
|
|
| doubts that we counted on fingers broken long ago |
[01 Oct 2004|11:01pm] |
wow. it has been about 1283417298471243 years since i've updated.
college is a really fucking busy place. for example, i spend hours laying out pages for the newspaper, writing twenty-five-page papers [you think i'm exaggerating but i'm not], having two-hour auditions for things, going to concerts, clubs, parties... you get the picture. just twenty minutes ago an enormous egg rolled into my room and i had to decide whether to jump on it, throw it out the window or boil it.
...
that didn't actually happen.
but that COULD easily happen, because that's how busy things are.
last week i was in portland. i'm sorry if you, too, were in portland and i missed you. there are, like, several hundred thousand people who live there so you can't hold me accountable, in my opinion. anyway.
the portland trip was highlighted by ben, jessica, alexis, and i seeing GOD in concert. you may not believe we ACTUALLY saw god in concert, but we did. that's right: we went to the very much sold out rilo kiley show. and you know what? it was better than anything that's ever happened to man since the beginning of time. first and foremost: jenny lewis is waaaaay hotter than she looks in pictures--which is really hot. second and secondly foremost: she said she would have my children. i kid you not. i asked her after the show.
the show itself was STUNNING. just... brilliant. jenny and blake engaged in hilarious banter; they looked like they WERE the songs they were playing--jenny did this eyebrow wrinkle thing that is indescribable by the words currently available in the dictionary. i orgasmed about thirty nine times. their encore was "the execution of all things", which, in case you were wondering, is. my. favorite. song. ever.
you say i choose sadness, that it never once has chosen me; maybe you're right... ugh! GENIUS!
anyway, we DID get to meet the band, and score adorable t-shirts and get them to sign our copy of troop beverly hills... and also, i got to drink the drummer's iced tea. everyone's pretty jealous of me. i don't blame them.
so anyway, that was pretty much the greatest experience of my life. i could die now and be happy.
it was good to see jessica. i miss her. she's soft.
saw ian the next day--he looked so cute... it was good to see him. we went to the park... ian didn't like my shoes; said they were clunky. we went to the mall, too... DAVID was there the same day, which is trippy. we saw his car. then i saw HIM later that night. david not ian. anyway, i wish i could have spent more time with ian because i don't think he enjoyed himself. but c'est la vie.
next concert story:
TONIGHT was MY first concert! I FREAKING KNOW. we got to play a whole set... there was a poster and everything. there was fucking... sound equipment. they miced the piano TWICE and people were, like, GATHERED and fucking CHEERING through my emo banter. it was a dream come true. and now, pictures from that.
number one:
the sun was so beautiful this evening; and hannah is so beautiful so i took about 23847239 pictures of her. she's very photogenic. i love her.
number two:
they brought me a PIANO! a piano out-fucking-side. yeah, i know.
number three:
ben and me actually playing. most of these pictures are very unflattering of me. too bad piano such an un-hot instrument. it's because you can't cradle it to hide your fat...
..which i have a lot of. oh oh oh! but i definitely lost ten pounds since i got here. and i don't fit in my jeans. so i bought new ones in portland, and guess what size they are?!?!??!
SIX! i know. fucking a. it's amazing. i feel like a thin girl for the first time in my life. but then i compare myself to hannah and i feel like a slab just globbing through the halls.
joe sackett and ben malbin: hello.
|
|
| now you're now gone. |
[20 Sep 2004|05:20pm] |
so i'm waiting for this test to end/ so these lighter days can soon begin/ i'll be alone by maybe more carefree/ like a kite that floats so effortlessly/ i was afraid to be alone/ now i'm scared thats how i'd like to be/ all the faces none the same how can there be so many personalities//
so many lifeless empty hands/ so many hearts in great demand/ and now my sorrow seems to far away/ until i'm taken by these bolts of pain/ but i turn them off and tuck them away/ till these rainy days that make them stay/ and then i'll cry so hard to these sad songs/ and the words still ring, once here now gone/ and they echo through my head everyday/ and i dont think they'll ever go away/ just like thinking of your childhood home/ but we cant go back were on our own//
but i'm about to give this one more shot/ and find it in myself/ i'll find it in myself/ so we're speeding towards that time of year/ to the day that marks you're not here/ and i think i'll want to be alone/ so please understand that i don't answer the phone/ i'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls/ until i can see nothing at all/ only particles some fast some slow/ all i can see is all i know
but i'm about to give this one more shot/ and find it in myself/ i'll find it in myself
|
|
| having coffee with your love |
[19 Sep 2004|10:22pm] |
how is it that eli just springs up sometimes? like... it's like i'm fine, and i'm happy, and then i have some dream about him [in this case, he looked EXACTLY like sam from my section, and he forgave me, and we were friends again, and i said, "i missed you," and he said, "i missed you too," and then we were okay... and it was really wonderful] and all of a sudden i'm crying at piano concerts and dreaming up metaphors about the guy.
we were making ginger bread houses about 2348927934 years ago [okay... three] and we worked really hard on them, and put a lot into them. but you know, we just couldn't keep the walls together. in the end, big slabs of giner bread fell down on the tinfoil base we made. we promised we'd eat them anyway; that they were fine, even if they weren't perfect. but we didn't. we threw them away.
and so last night it strikes me: this is a perfect metaphor for our entire relationship. and this, of course, makes me cry.
i would actually be about the happiest person in the world if it weren't for this lurking past love i have looming over my shoulders. funny how one thing can just completely shatter your concept of love.
i don't wish i was with him or anything. i just wish we spoke. but he says i hurt him and that i broke his heart. ian says:
dedsydEbo [10:33 PM]: he doesnt want to talk to you, he doesnt want to see you, he's moved on, let him be a stupid cunt and move on too... please!
...sighs. it's weird to say, "i have to accept this thing. i have to move away from this thing. this thing and i don't belong together." but you never DO get over some things.
i feel bad for everyone who tries to get close to me, because i just don't let them get close, you know? of course you do. you're a gigantic community of people who read livejournals. and you understand. ahgasfhaslkdgh. oh eli. you're not a cunt, really. you're a nice guy who can't find friendship with me.
what i wouldn't do to just... talk to him on the phone.
pathetic.
|
|
| it's only doubts that we're counting on fingers broken long ago |
[18 Sep 2004|07:27pm] |
oh wow. college is the best. have i mentioned that college is the best?
this is going to piss ian off, but i just went to a birthday party for a girl in my section, and there were definitely male strippers. it was.. perhaps the most hysterical thing i had ever seen. ever.
and now i'm going to see a really great pianist playing at the chism, which is.. amazing.
here's my student senate campaign poster. i think it's brilliant, although the austrian girl in my section finds it offensive. i guess that's sensible, though.
i'll definitely win, right? [laughs]. maybe not. but at least i had fun with it.
anyway, i have no good excuse for not updating. i think it's just that it feels like a waste of time to be on the computer when i can be doing so many other things. i guess that was always true, but it just seems a little truer here. i don't know.
oh yeah. and writer's colony? the. best. experience[s]. of. my. life. it's where you go on thursday night and they gave you prompts and you just write for a few hours. it's FANTASTIC. i wrote two weeks ago in the view point of a girl who fucks shoes, and i read it out loud. i thought everyone would think it was really weird, but then i went to w.c. LAST week, and a couple of guys were wearing signs that said "I AM A SHOE". i didn't get that they were for me at first. but then i was really flattered and i orgasmed over how much i love w.c. see? i'm already shortening it to "w.c."
man. male strippers. shit that's cool.
|
|
| you don't know how lovely you are |
[09 Sep 2004|09:11am] |
i slept in today.
it was awful! i set my alarm and everything, but it didn't go off. and then it came to that notorious moment when i looked at the clock, which said 8:15, which is when my class started.
asdgdajsd.
the teacher is ninety years old, though [not an exaggeration]. he didn't care. he didn't even notice. it's just one of those frustrating things.
i didn't get enough sleep last night because i was upset after a conversation ian and i had. he was mad because i was not chatting with him fast enough. this is because there were 23848298385 people in my room. anyone in college can understand that this is not a situation that is easily remedied.
but you know, ian is happy. his life is good. he has a car and a license and a hundred thousand friends and they like to drive around town and laugh and not get home until eleven thirty on school nights. so i don't see what he's complaining about.
i have nothing to complain about, either. i am surrounded by the most interesting, fun-loving, liberal-minded group of people i have ever met. i am taking classes that are totally invigorating and worthwhile... i actually enjoy studying for eight hours a day [not an exaggeration; emily can vouch], because the material is is polytheism rather than parametrics.
i am running for student senate; i am applying to be on the newspaper staff; i am auditioning for plays; i have been to every lecture, movie and hall opportunity there is. i mean, this is my nitch.
oh yeah. and there are ducks. my fucking favorite animal of all time [after the brown-throated three-toed sloth, of course. but i'm not complaining]
ian sent me a file of "the scientist" by coldplay to listen to. people migrate to my room when it's on. why? because everyone fucking loves that song. it makes you feel this really good kind of lonely--like, you want to have sex like reese witherspoon and ryan phillipe have in cruel intentions if that makes sense.
my creative writing class is awesome. we read "prose" and "flash fiction" like this:
"she opens the door. it floods of violet and spanikopita. she feels her nostrils fill with air. remembering the first day of school when she was twelve, she faints. when she awakes, she is in the same place, only yesterday."
and we're supposed to find it really deep and meaningful and write things that mimic it. i got heavy prasie for a piece i wrote about the word "omelet." not the food, mind you. just the word.
the thrift stores are really cheap here. no ten-dollar skorts like the goodwills at lincoln city. i bought a really cute skirt for $3, and some hideous 80's clothing for a lump sum of $1.25. it's like garage sale hopping.
i have to go to acting soon. yesterday in acting we had to do trust falls, which i CAN NOT DO [anyone sympathize here?]. like, i simply cannot. and i was paired with a boy who was significantly smaller than me. and so i almost died. but i didn't.
anyone have any info on the nwct? someone mentioned they're closing it..
....
|
|
| you are 8am on the first day of spring when everything is new |
[07 Sep 2004|06:38pm] |
there is this guy eric in our hall who never wears a shirt. ever. like, i don't actually think he'd be able to wear a shirt, even if he wanted to. so... i'm not going to press the matter.
college is still great. i got to see nada surf and the pale in concert and very up-close, which was pretty awesome. badly drawn boy is coming to town next, so just man your jealousy wagons, folks. or something. on the twenty-fourth, ben and i will be back in portland to see rilo kiley.
[moment of silence to sit in awe of rilo kiley.]
wellll... everything is going really well here. i miss everyone a lot, and idle things sometimes... like pioneer courthouse square or the way jessica's hair smells when it rains. i miss ian and sitting in his rooms wrapped up in these thoughts and ideas that we never really articulated. ian dyed his hair black.. i don't really approve. i mean, i guess it's cool. ian's now an official badass, right? i'm just very past the whole multihued locks thing. i don't know. judge for yourself.
hannah, the girl across the hall, is beautiful. i think she is my best friend here on campus... she makes me feel very comfortable and at home. she is nothing like jessica, but then i wasn't looking for a replacement; just someone to talk to. that's corny. she's also hot. it's funny how that configures into things.
actually, i've made a lot of friends here. liiiike, danielle, my roommate who is a complete flirt and neat freak who consistently cleans our room. and i clean it too. so we live in a very clean place. and cat, the most fun-loving, hippie-vegetarian rugby player i've ever met.
it's weird how you get to start a whole new life when you get to college. like you get here, and you have this opportunity to be a totally different person. i swore to myself i wouldn't be intimidating here--or at least put people in awkward situations. and then today i found myself on the lawn talking about porn. just goes to show you that you can only run from who you are for so long.
i miss alexis. i miss falling asleep staring at spatulas.
i'm happy here, though.
|
|
| metal rods in your fucking mouth trying to keep you from grinding your teeth at night |
[29 Aug 2004|01:04pm] |
i'm herrrrrrre!
where is here, you ask?
"here" is the lovely, lovely, lovely whitman college. which, have i mentioned recently?, is lovely. i am actually quite happy here... only a little homesick, and when that, just for specific people who i wish i could see more often.
the goodbyes were hard. the best ones were from vince levy and kathy breen, because when i walked away from those i was actually physically choking back the tears. which was awesome, and exactly how goodbyes should be. oh yeah. and the ones between ian and jessica. oh god. i was a wreck. in both cases, i was quite heartened. sometimes you have to leave to realize how lucky you are, as cliche as that sounds. i think we all kind of got a taste of how much love we have in our lives.
and in that honor, goodbye pictures.
..
well, two of them.
that's jesse in the rain and whitney in my warm embrace. yum. :)
well, to start, walla walla is about the most beautiful place on the face of the earth. there are fucking... bunnies. i swear. i saw a bunny. and there's, like, quirky thrift shops everywhere, and enchanted parks and DUCKS GALORE! it's like living in heaven. heaven filled with a lot of churches and republicans. neither of which would exist in heaven.
actually, the churches are pretty cool. i want to go to all of them to see what actual non-unitarian chuch services are like. i can almost remember if i peer into my hectic past. but i have to squint.
i'm trying to listen to lindsay's old band, naomi, but the quality of the recording is pretty shitty. i can't really hear it all. luckily, the music is so good that it doesn't really matter all that much to me.
anyway, back to the scenery. i took this picture of a park. look at that. it's a fucking pond. a big one, too. with ducks. and flowers that allegedly bloom all year long. and adorable couples sitting in benches around it, cuddling. and floaty cotton candy cloudy that whisk you away to wherever you want to go. okay, i made that last one up. but holy shit, right? i mean, isn't that a-fucking-mazing? it's prettier than any park in portland.
and our [the lovely danielle and myself] have a really kick ass dorm room. okay, so it's pretty stark.. but you know, we like that. we like the lack of clutter. it makes us glad. i am, of course, speaking for both of us at once. but danielle DOES have the greatest bedspread that i may have ever had the glory of seeing. it has those little martha stuart throw pillows on it and everything. i. know.
i have met a lot of wonderful people here, too. namely four: cat, hannah, and danielle. we have already formed a little clique, i think... they're all really pretty, which is discouraging. but i figure if i surround myself with all these pretty, skinny girls then it will eventually rub off on me, too, and i will be gorgeous and datable eventually.
together we have enjoyed lecture after lecture, book discussions, dinners, breakfasts, and late-night "boy meets world"-a-thons. it's been exactly the college experience i was hoping it would be.
[danielle and me. it's so fucking HOT here.]
[hannah's on the left. i think she is about the most incredible human being that i have ever met.]
but of course i'm helplessly homesick, which positively kills me. i fell in love with portland and now it's gone! oh, woe is me. eh, i'm adjusting.
i miss jessica and ian especially. i have cried over both of them at least once since getting here. it's funny how you don't realize how much you love someone until they're gone...
oh yeah, and here's a photograph of a fountain. because i wanted to brag about how fucking incredible the campus is. and it is.
|
|
| you want the badge of honor when you save my hide |
[22 Aug 2004|05:39pm] |
peter farago and i are engaged. i met him yesterday and decided this was for the best: he may enunciate his t's, and he s's, as well, but that's okay, because he uses large words in his everyday vernacular and appreciates the genius of rilo kiley without me having to explain to him why they're so fucking great. so we're to be wed under water. wearing scuba masks of course.
here is a photograph of peter farago. he is excrutiatingly self conscious about his "puffy eyes." pish posh. they're lovely if you ask me. feel free to comment on peter farago and how he is good looking.
the other two are brandon and.. and.. and david.
oh! speaking of david! he's horribly, miserably, unutterably depressed. because kendra left him. it's miserable. well, i mean, they're still together, per se. they're just not together. you see what i mean. it is quite depressing. which brings us to the photograph of david's birthday party. i am not, in fact, that pasty and disgusting looking. that dress did me positively no justice. which is too bad because it's incredibly cute.
it was at hooter's, the party.
..
i am so disappointed by hooter's.
..
there are no strippers. there are chicken STRIPS. but they suck. they're cold and have hair in them. and the service is so fucking slow. because god is really fat. or something. anyway, pisses me off.
and now comes the part where i talk about eileen groopman. does anyone have ANY FUCKING CLUE how FUCKING AMAZING eileen groopman is? she's the coolest. okay, granted, i've never met her. but get this: she found the notebook that a bunch of us passed around junior year and then jessica strategically LOST in the auditorium. so she found the goddamned thing, like, two years ago. and then she fucking sent it to me in the mail! this is because she is made out of strands of gold. or some such stuff. okay, seriously. this was THE highlight of my entire fucking summer. shit.
 
ian is miserable because keith [best friend] is leaving for the army. and i don't blame him, and for the first time think he is about the strongest, most wonderful human being that ever walked the earth. he's like an angel sent down from heaven. sympathy does that to you: it makes you just totally adore the person you feel bad for. anyway, poor ian. that... fucking sucks. and we're all whining that our loved ones are going to college for a year. oh boo hoo. it's not iraq! put things into perspective..
this was proof for ian that i actually DID go to that goonies screening in the square. but then i saw him there. so the proof was unnecessary. this picture, however, is good. it's better when it's bigger and you can see that jesus freak's sandwich board. it looks like the people are looking at the sandwich board. in fact, they're watching the goonies.
|
|
| tasting you and rain i walk down to the train |
[20 Aug 2004|10:22am] |
the beach was magical as usual. i got my head straightened.. only to return to hustling bustling garage-saling portland. i'm in that i-didn't-do-everything-i-meant-to-do-this-summer mood. but to tell you the truth, it's not as bad as it usually is. i think this means i'm growing up, and that pisses me off. i watched mister roger's neighborhood and fucking cried all over myself. he was so great. i would have fucked him, even in his old age.
that was vile.
i was just kidding. i wouldn't. probably. unless he asked really politely. or, you know, had a hot pick-up line or something. like, "let me take you to make-believe land!" and then did a wild strip tease.
god, i'm sorry.
we had a kickass bonfire at the beach. you should shake with jealousy. think campsongs, s'mores, a healthy fire, and then, to top it all off, everyone got naked and streaked across the beach.
well, not me. i didn't. but ben looked really funny shaking his little white ass at us. actually, that imagery is... not happily memorable. [sorry ben. you simply cannot dance.] alex and alexis were naked--i got to see alex's penis. for one dollar i will tell you about it.
alexis is mad at alex right now because he's being a dick.
in other news, there is a garage sale at ben stevens' house this weekend from nine to four. please come and sell stuff and buy stuff and all that good stuff.
god, that was lame.
look at the picture and tell me it isn't absolutely chillingly brilliant.
[sighs.] maybe i should pursue photography and not journalism after all.
any information of this "reg" character would be widely appreciated. i think i'm in love.
speaking of love: i'm sorry ian. kind of. but you should not pressure so much. and the scab on my arm is still there. i should post it online so the world might feel sorry for me and send you loathesome emails.
|
|
| give it up |
[16 Aug 2004|11:44am] |
okay. this post has to be short, to the unhappiness of my adoring fans, because i am going to the beach. MUST REMEMBER TO RETURN EMILY DAVIS' PIE PAN. here are the things to say.
one. i went on a scary airplane with ben and almost died. and the guy who was flying the plane called me fat and now i want to throw up all the time.
two. found the three hottest girls in the universe, got lost, and put on red lipstick. which of us would YOU rather do? i'm serious. and choose me, but then choose another one.
three. lindsay kissed a lobster at a garage sale. ha ha ha!!!
four. ian is cute and wonderful and i realize that i'm actually really going to miss him next year. we sat in the park and it was probably one of the nicest moments of my entire summer. i felt like i was twelve again. which was a shitty time period. but that's not the point.
five. took trevor to see "the village" for his birthday. good movie. trevor CANNOT TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS. here's the best one i took of him:
don't believe me? here are the others:
he's a wonderful person. i wish we had gotten to be closer friends. but then, it IS entirely his fault that we didn't. because he's the one who shattered my tender and fragile little heart. yup, trevor, still bringing it up.
that's it. i'm beach bound. write me!
|
|
| all this time you were pretending |
[13 Aug 2004|10:45am] |
jesus effing christ. i have the worst cramps known to man. it feels like my uterus is going to explode eighteen times, and then i won't die, but rather i'll just lie there in a puddle of uterus and live in pain for the rest of my life.
okay, a few things.
one.
i dyed my hair red. i guess by now most of you know this. but if you somehow missed out on the orange-haired fun, the situation can easily be remedied by you looking at this picture of my hanging out of a car with red hair. ben and ian think it's hot. that's a score. but jessica was like, "soooophie! why'dja dye iiiiit!?!?" meh. it'll change again, i'm sure.
and my parents met ian pope. yes they did. and he was on his best behaivior, so they loved him and wanted to do him, just like everyone does when they first meet ian. but he has you FOOLED! because then ian calls me, and instead of being the charming, aesthetically pleasing young man he was at the fair with my parents, he says, "so, did your parents LOVE me?" and i said, "yeah." and he said, "see!? i knew they would." and then he made this smug noise. seriously: can anyone see the problem in this? ian, no one likes boys with big heads. although i'm sure he was still very aesthetically pleasing. he has really nice eyes.
yeah, so, that said we all chilled at the fair. we saw the animals. i freaking love the animals. partiularly the bunnies and the ducks. i took this picture of ian in front of some geese. i call it, "ian with geese at the fair; crouching."
for those of you keeping tabs on my hard decision [read: last entry], i have come to one. i am going for option [4]; run far, far away. and that "far, far away" is going to be walla walla!
god i'm clever.
i've been spending a lot of time with jessica and ben. the other night we watched reality bites and stripped down to our underwear and sat in the hot tub watching for shooting stars. it's rare that you find that kind of comaraderie. last night we lay on ben's bed until one thirty in the morning and read trivial pursuit cards and talked about smashing kneecaps. then we went to 7-11 and acted high. ben professed to us that he had a crush on the guy behind the counter... who admittedly was pretty cute. jessica and i sat at anna bananas and cried about leaving each other for three hours on tuesday. i think she's really beautiful.
jenna's party was fabulous. i love foozeball. OH OH OH! garage sale next week; big group ordeal. call me for the information. 5034754922.
|
|
| through an ocean haze |
[11 Aug 2004|08:00pm] |
i have a very important decision i have to make. my options are these:
[1] kill myself.
[2] kill my mother.
[3] kill both my parents [murderously!].
[4] run far far away.
[5] some combination of 1-4.
mmm. smells like a big, steaming plate of melodrama! oh wait. that's because it is. [sighs.] i'll tell you when i come to a decision.
|
|
| and the talking leads to touching... |
[10 Aug 2004|02:49am] |
mmm.. i changed my user bio, but i felt bad about it. because my old one was so hi-fucking-larious. so here i am posting it. below.
oh yeah. and i have a major crush on this online character--ian something from seattle. he's.. twenty-two, i guess. and lives in seattle. this is mostly prompted by a funny post that he put up about kirsten and jake [as ben would put it, "jake dumpynal"] umm.. check out ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1) ofcoven, if you're interested.
and, without further ado, the bio you'll all miss terribly:
here's how i was born:
i was in the stomach of a dinosaur. a big one. in truth, i was meant to be a dinosaur, but right as it was my turn to be born, the dinosaur population became extinct and i was buried underground while my mother was incinerated by lava. i, however, was not incinerated. which made me think i must have been a pretty special dinosaur. so i waited around for a few million years until some palentologist finally dug me up. and i was this ugly dinosaur baby. but the palentologist was actually a wizard, and, knowing i wouldn't be accepted into society as a dinosaur, he waved his magic wand and transformed me into beautiful baby sophie johnson, magic dinosaur-person-creation. that's why i have talons.
meanwhile, in my humble town of portland, oregon, i am a fan of fighting crime. yesterday i was on the max train and i saw a small, stranded, pigeon in the center of the tracks, and ran out of the train to save it, before it was crushed to oblivion. i knew that colonel evil was behind the scam, and i telephoned him and then i went to his house and i arrested him, and now he can't torture pigeons anymore. all in a day's work.
|
|
| what kind of scale compares the weight of two beauties? |
[09 Aug 2004|02:37am] |
updating is so much work.
that is, when you have enormously adorable pictures to post. which i do. enormously adorable. or pertinent. or adorable and pertinent if you're lucky.
it's weird how you can be so happy and so depressed at the same time. i guess that's true for everybody and there's nothing profound about me saying it. it just seems like everything is fabulous and at the same time so fucked up. take, for instance, the fact that i crashed my mom's car. on the eve of one of the better days of my entire existance. yep. totalled it, i think. sideswiped some middle aged guy with red hair. this, i realize, seems petty. and it is. i was just hoping for a grand example. i guess that wasn't one at all..
i have no luck with cars, though. for example: i had a mental breakdown the other day [the other week, actually], and i fucking smashed ben's car. i kicked the windshield and it smashed in. i didn't actually do it on purpose. but then i had to go through the business of explaining the whole thing to his mother, which was horrible, because she scares the shit out of me. and that's why i have no shit. anyway, this exactly six days after i backed into a pole and smashed my sideview, ten after my tail-light got whacked in with a bat, six months after i rear-ended a sweet lady on the way to church, and a year and three months after recieving a traffic violation ticket for making an illegal left-hand turn. depressing, really. automobiles: beware of the sophie.
yeah, public transportation for me from now on. speaking of which: last week ben and i took the max to the end of the fucking line! it was amazing. you know what we saw? lots of people riding the max. that and tons of sleazy motels. we're talking... sleaz-y. i mean, decrepit, burned out signs and all, along with shotty windows and big neon lights that said "color tvs! direct dial phones!" it was awesome. if i ever have a one night stand i'm going deep into north portland to stay at a sleazy motel to do it.
last week was camp. aside from it being extremely rowdy, i got a lot of reading done because i only had to work half time, and i met the love of my life. her camp name is butter, and i guess i've technically known her for four years. but i'm totally in love. it's cradle robbing, though: she's about to be a freshman next year... in high school. it's okay. she's deathly hot. and she has a SISTER. my age. i know. who could ask for more?
ian has been delightful and i miss him. i'll probably never ever ever get to see him again because i'm forbidden from ever using the car again for the rest of my young existance. this is a punishment i can live with. the only thing the car is good for is driving to battleground, anyway. last week was fun. ian did his hair like a stupid emo nerd and looked hot when he put on my glasses. then he would stick his finger down his throat to make his eyes water. awww. how tasteful. i bought lemon meringue pie at shari's and slept on the floor in his room.
now that we're on the topic of shari's excursions, i would like to share with you the photo of the sugar tower i made. i am a sweet-n-low god. my sweet-n-low collection just passed it's one hundred packet mark yesterday. i should have thrown a party but o'grady was on.
yesterday was pretty much one of the happiest days of my life. i got to go to seattle and hang out with ben and see gabe [anyone remember gabe? he hasn't changed at all. no. seriously. except now he works at tully's coffee]. i had never been to seattle before, and it was a-fucking-mazing. ben was great, too; he took me to the museum. i really appreciate a person who understands that the biggest chunk of cultural significance in any major city is not the shopping outlets but the art museum. i definitely got hideous blisters from walking around in high heels, though. gabe helped me pick out flip flops at the nordstrom rack, and showed us the library. jesus! you think the central library is something. but the one in seattle? holy shit. that place is simply seething with coolness. first of all, the windows were like such:
and there were some fucking awesome chairs that looked plastic but were in fact some weird kind of foam. i could live there. they had a coffee stand and everything, so i wouldn't starve. i got to meet gabe's girlfriend who was hotter than him, but good for him, i guess [although hey: i was pretty sure he was gay]. bought an old postcard at an underground antique shop, too. it was addressed to some "mrs." character, and the stamp indicated that it was written in 1910. the front said, "oh! you sponge" on it. comedy was so much easier in 1910. sponges were hilarious back then.
here's a picture of gabe. oh, and em: i love you, call me.
|
|
| make it a double |
[05 Aug 2004|10:33pm] |
three things:
[one] i just saw "debbie does dallas: the musical". you have TWO DAYS to see it at theatre theater! and it's. a. fucking. mazing. i mean, a little ditzy, a little over-quirky. but still: a porno that was [almost] completely family friendly? it's worth it. trust me. and only ten bucks!!! go. seriously. go.
[two] i hate these shout-outs that people do without ever really explaining them, but i'm really sorry, ian. i'm sure that won't change anything... but i really am sorry.
[three] signed up for my classes at whitman. exactly eighteen credits, but no math or science. five classes. i'm thrilled. and i feel a little sick. i'm taking a class on milton. that makes me a little sick. i've read "paradise: lost" at least forty three times [okay, twice] and it makes absolutely no sense to me. except that it's about the garden of eden. and that's about it.
on another note, vince levy is well on his way to being a professional photographer, don't you agree? without his permission, i'm posting three pictures on his amazing "vince's summer pictures" cd that he gave me. i'm accepting votes for a favorite. :)
|
|
| i love it but i hate the taste |
[30 Jul 2004|12:09pm] |
i'm kind of melancholy.
but shit! i'm really starting to get excited about whitman. they have, like, three hundred thousand religious studies classes. too thrilling.
i'm on the phone with ian. he's been fabulous lately. maybe i'll marry him...
annnyway. my internet connection went down like three days ago, and since then my life has been simply riddled with exciting events. of course, the most important being the totally amazing and unprecedented in coolness
WEIRD AL YANKOVIC CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[coughs.]
seriously. that man is a fucking genius. and aside from the fact that the audience consisted entirely of
[1] middle aged fat men with thick glasses and a nerdy obsession with pop culture
[2] snotty star wars fanatics
[3] eight-year-old boys and their parents
[4] pre-teen acne-faced guys who have literally not seen sunlight since they were born due to an over-excessive addiction to the internet
[5] ben, jessica, alexis and i
it was still the greatest concert of. all. time. period.
we all went to bannings afterward. on the car ride on the way there we sang all of "everything you know is wrong." and it was a holy moment. weird al has officially made me a better person.
ben and i also went on a double date with sarah and brandon. FUCK. that was awesome. official favorite double date couple: sarah and brandon. no one is funnier, cuter, or more able to watch "heathers" with the right amount of talking and emotional attachment. a+. anyway, we were walking down belmont and suddenly my adorable-kitten-senses started tingling. sure enough there was an adorable kitten hangin' out on a porch nearby. its name was "loki" [emma would be proud], and it was so fucking cute i almost cut my wrists with happiness. or something. anyway. i want a kitten.
aaand, i saw kate. that was depressing. for someone i have such a big crush on, she's kind of absent-minded [this is a euphemism. really i'm pretty mad at kate. but she'll never know because she "doesn't like the internet. at all."] anyway, she's going to smith. and we bought candy. that's that. oh yeah. and at cinnabon, some woman told us thatthe strawberry cinnabons only had five grams of fat, and i was all like, "we don't care, lady. we're young and thin." and i felt soooo badass.
[coughs again.]
and i've been spending enough time with jessica for us to be officially considered married. that and we sleep together. anyway, we picked blackberries and made tarts the other day while her mother was... going through a phase [don't ask] and we needed to stay awake. two thirty in the morning is officially my favorite tart-making time.
god my life is dull. fuck.
picture of ben of the summer:
i'm off to work at john kerry headquarters. take that omsi john! [bytheway: we should... like... you know... talk and stuff. because we haven't for a while.] oh yeah, my roommate is incredibly hot. it's ridiculous. haven't actually talked to her yet, but she's very attractive, to say the absolutely least. and an update for those of you wondering: joe and cole are still fucking adorable.
please. call. me. and emily: what hall are you in? i'm curious beyond curious. i should just call you. but i probably won't.
|
|
| this is the story of your red right ankle |
[24 Jul 2004|11:07pm] |
i'm in a bad mood.
today was actually pretty depressing. edges of it were good--like that i got to see jessica, and eat indian food and see napolean dynamite with ben and his posse. but mostly it was too hot, too full of grouchy people, and too lined with unfortunate events.
the most saddening, though, was the death of scarlett chipotle stevens. this may sound really stupid and lame to most of you, but i am infamously attached to my pets. and scarlett was so perfect! she was even potty trained, sort of [she never committed an offense while i was holding her--not once!]. anyway, i have this innate ability to feel almost one hundred percent better if i can talk to a rodent because, let's face it, rodents are particularly good listeners. the cats mutilated the poor thing. she was lying with her little bloody feet up in the air; her little, perfect mouth open. i was a total wreck. the only one who understood was ben, because he was totally enamored with her too. we both kind of cried for about a half an hour, and the day never really improved after that. i had to pick her up with tissues and put her in a cardboard box--her body was cold and hard... i had never really had to feel a dead thing before and i was a basketcase doing it. then we had to put her in the freezer so she wouldn't rot because we couldn't bury her in my yard due to construction. [sighs.] it's useless to be depressed about it, but, admittedly, i still am. jessica kept talking about "hamster heaven." yeeeeah. "hamster heaven" exists. sure.
rest in peace. eh.
on a happier note, ben stevens is EIGHTEEN! we went to castle yesterday, which was great. i was glad to see that they still had many copies of "bridget the midget has sex with girls" [although you'd think they could come up with a better title. oh well.] i was so good to ben, too. to start, i made him the. best. desserts. ever. well, actually, emma and i made them together. but we did make them. i have to save some for em's tea party tomorrow, though, and they're just so good that they're practically flying through the window. although the weather was, like, a hundred and six, and we were BAKING. which was... really stupid and almost not worth it. i also got him a wonderful ( movie themed gift ). anyway, i photographed the desserts. don't drool on your keyboard, though..
[from left, clockwise: devil's food vanilla dribble cake with blackberries; lemon bars; bumbleberry pie; double chocolate cookies with powdered sugar.]
i also went to the zoo today. although that was pretty stupid. the zoo was the hottest place in the whole wide world. it did, however, make for some great viewing of hot animals [not the kind at castle, either]. for instance: the polar bears were fucking swimming. i mean, how often does that even happen? that's right, i forgot. it fucking doesn't. the polar bears are so lazy. they're always sleeping. all the time. but today? nah, too hot to sleep. so those bears were rompin' in the water like olympic swimmers. or polar bears in water. also seen bathing today: the elephants. awwwww. jessica lea thompson and i got to go because her mom had free tickets from an office party. the party also came well-equipped with free popsicles. it was a gooood day for popsicles.
and then ben, brandon, daniel, alex, jessica, and i all went to swagat and ate indian. many people, i learned tonight do not like indian food. for example: jessica and daniel. jessica finds it too spicy, and daniel thought his curry looked like vomit. alex may or may not have liked it. i, however, loved it. and ben ordered this huge crepe filled with curried potatoes. it looked terrifying. when i photographed him eating it, it looked like he was deep throating it. he wasn't, though.
and then we all went to see napolean dynamite, which was fabulous. the little girl who was in andre was it in! does anyone remember that movie? it's the one where there's a seal and a little girl. she was also in corinna corinna with whoopie goldberg. yeeeeah, i totally own corinna corinna if you have yet to view this cinematic masterpiece. anyway, i'm glad we went.
heh heh. "i caught you a large, delicious bass." hysterical.
although, there were people right behind us who had seen it already and were talking the whole time. it was god awful. they were like, "OHHHHHHH! THIS PART IS SOOOOOOO GOOD! WHOOOOA! YOU HAVE TO... WHOOOA! YES! SEE HOW GOOD THAT WAS!?!??!?!?!!!!!!!!!" one girl kept saying, "yessss!" the whole time. like, even when it was totally inappropriate, or when nothing significant had happened. and then, toward the end, one of them was like, "i'm hungry." and this launched this entire conversation about what they were going to do afterwards [go to the roxy, they thought, but maybe denny's.] i wanted to go with them and gauge out their eyes with blunt forks. i hate people who ruin movies.
i'm listening to the leak of rilo kiley's new album, more adventurous. go there and listen to the first song, "does he love you?" it's pretty. and because i am depressed it is making me cry. jessica was crabby today, too. i think i'll go over to her house in a few minutes, but i'm making sure ian isn't going to call. he's probably having, like, three million friends over or something. because he has a social life.
oh yeah. ian's been really nice as of late. and that's improved my attitude.
so, in summation: goodbye scarlett, look who's legal, ben, and the zoo is hot. the end.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
